The Quite Peckish Games: The 65th
by David Noklevername
Summary: A prequel to my story, the Quite Peckish Games. I don't see very many SYOTs that are actually, you know, FUNNY. So, they picked a creative genius to write one. Shockingly, he got hit by a bus, so they chose me instead. Submission sheet on my profile! Please, PM them to me.
1. Prologue

The Quite Peckish Games: 65th

Caesar Saladman sat in his chair, and grabbed his script.

"Hello, citizens! This is the amazing Caesar Saladman, here to introduce this SYOT! Usually, the Author himself would introduce it, but, that would break the site rules, and we don't want that! Also, I'm getting paid! Everyone wins!" Someone then walked up to Caesar, whispered to him, then left.

"Oh well..." Caesar said, disappointed, "Anyway, you can look at David Noklevername, the author, account page for the character submission sheet! Hopefully, he'll get the spots filled in quickly!" He said with a smile, "Well, I'm off to do my Heath Ledger impression!"

Caesar left. Hopefully you submit a character before you realize this ending is stupid. 


	2. Sector 9

**Akai Tuna, Sector 9**

I was walking to the Choosing. It was the Sector 9's turn for the Choosing, and we have to go into a rather large for it. The stadium is completely made out of wheat, because that seems to be all we have here.

I shuffled into line with the other children. Beside me was my brother, Ersatz Tuna. He is twelve, cute, innocent, and a male version of some kid that hasn't even been born yet. He's also totally not a Gary Stu. He's just totally innocent in every way.

A lady in white walked up to a podium, and took out some cue cards, "Hello, citizens of Wheat Country! As you know unless you live under a rock, most likely made of wheat, today is the Choosing! We shall choose the male Contestant first, seeing as at the time this chapter was written nobody had bothered to submit a female Sector 9 Contestant, and that fact is the bulk of these chapter's awful jokes!" She walked over to a ball containing the names of every guy age twelve to eighteen, or as we call it, 'The Wheat-Ball of Death', and picked out a name.

"This year's male Contestant is... Akai Tuna!" She called out, "Despite sounding like a Sector 4 man, Akai Tuna IS OUR CONTESTANT!"

I gasped. Surely, they could not have a blatant self-insert be a Contestant! It's against the rules of this site! NOOOOOOO!

**Eliz Ryeir, Sector 9**

Hello, I'm Eliz Ryeir. Don't laugh at my name, please. I guess I'm gonna have to give you a physical description of myself, because, hey, we need to pad this chapter's length somehow.

I'm rather slim. Maybe has something to do with the fact I live in Sector 9, and we literally only eat wheat-based things. I have blonde hair, and I'll give you one guess where I work!

... No, not a strip club, genius. I work in the wheat fields, so I can smuggle wheat to my wheat-house so we can all have wheat-food to eat wheat, wheat wheat wheat wheat. Wheat, wheat!

Sorry, I blanked out for a second.

Anyway, today is the Choosing. I shuffled into the crowd of nameless extras, the only other person in the crowd I notice is a boy who seems to be narrating. No, I'm not going to elaborate on him whatsoever. Then the Choosing started. "Hello, citizens of Wheat Country!" Ledger-ette announced, "Today is the Choosing, blah blah blah, you read this all in Chapter formerly known as Chapter Two. Let's pick the Male Contestant, because we did that in the last part you just read, and we don't want to screw what little continuity we have!"

"This year's Male Contestant is... Akai Tuna!"

Akai Tuna?! I think I know him. Perhaps he is related to my bestest friend ever until I forget about him in a later chapter, Erzats Tuna! Nah. Only younger siblings ever get picked, for the 'family issues' backstory automatic-sympathy trait!

"Now that we have re-capped thh last part for chapter-padding, let us pick the Female Contestant!" Ledger-ette walked over to the 'Wheat Ball of Over-Used Wheat Jokes', and pulled out a name.

"This year's Female Contestant is... The person who's friends with the other Contestant's brother!" I gasped. THAT'S ME!

... And I spent half my time narrating about someone else!

**Well, this is Sector 9! I'm currently updating the old chapters to a format like this.** **How do you like it?**

**Other than that, I have a few more things to announce. The first chapter of the sequel to the story this is spun off from, _The Quite Peckish Games_, has the first chapter of the sequel released! Look for _The Quite Peckish Games: OH MY GOD I'M CATCHING FIRE! _on my account!**

**And if yousubmitted a Contestant for this series that I haven't written a chapter for already, PLEASE re-send me their Character Form. It's getting really hard to find all the Character Forms while I'm writing the chapters...**

**Akai Tuna created by Red Tuna, Eliz Ryeir created by Awhefner.**


	3. Sector 1

**Starlight Skywhisper, Sector 1**

Greetings, lucky readers! You have the good fortune to read the amazing story of me, Starlight Skywhisper! I am sixteen years old, and raised as a Career. Though, I'm not a Career. That would make me flawed in some way. And that just cannot be!

It's time for the Choosing. Some lady wearing more make-up than me, (if I actually needed make-up to look literally perfect like I do) walked up to the podium.

"Hello, Sector One!" She announced, evily, like every stereotypical villain must, "We shall now choose the female Sector One Contestant! The announcment would be longer and more formal, but the author just wants to get to the chariot ride so they can droan on and on about the Mary Sue's clothes."

She reached into a fabulous ball with all the names of all the girls in the Sector, and took one out, "The Contestant is... Cynthia Skywhisper!"

OH NOES! CYNTHIA SKYWHISPER IS MA SISTER! I MUST DO SOMETHING! I raised my hand, "I volunteer as Tribute!" I called out, bravely.

"... Don't you mean 'Contestant'?" She asked in a preppy sort of way, "It doesn't matter. Starlight Skywhisper is the Sector One Contestant!"

I started crying. Why did I do that?! Now I have such an original problem, I definitely won't win! OH NOES!

My boyfriend, Sam Sparklingmoonlightbeam walked up to me, "Thanks for coming to cheer me up, but it won't work-"

"SCREW THAT!" He interrupted, "I came to dance!" He started doing an awesome dance number thats totally not gay, "I'm free from your Mary Sue-dom FOREVER!" He cheered.

"Why are you being so mean?!"

"Why are you being so Mary Sue-y?!"

I started crying even more, "I still love you." I muttered.

He looked me in the eyes, "I don't care, b*tch."

**Sam Sparklingmoonlightbeam**

I danced. I danced. And I danced some more. I'm finally free from stupid Starlight! WOOH, MOONWALK! I'm single, by the way, ladies. Also, straight. My name is just gay.

"Alright, time to choose the male Contestant!" Cheered the lady at the podium.

"Wait," Starlight said to me, for some reason forgetting the events of the last chapter, "Why choose another person? I have already been chosen, and I'm the one they want..."

What the f*ck?! What does she mean 'I'm the one they want'?! Nobody in the Capital knows her but me. And that's probably because I commited some horrible sin and needed to be plagued.

I feel bad for whoever has to go with her. But, I'm sure they'll be mercy killed by the Careers. Speaking of which, why do we have no freakin' Careers here? Damn this plot hole ridden place...

The lady at the podium picked out a note from the males sparkle ball, "This year's male Contestant will be... Sam Sparklingmoonlightbeam! Wow, that name is almost as homosexual as everyone in Fan Fictions!"

What. The. Hell?! First of all, I'm not gay, and second, WHAT THE HELL?! Wow, fate is a bitch.

Kinda like Starlight.

**Both Sam and Starlight created by Richards25, thanks!**


	4. Ben Dover

Hello, random internet person! I am Ben Dover!

Yes, I am amazing. And yes, my name is very meaningful. I think the thing I say most is my name.

I'm a Career from Sector Four! I've been training for literally every day of every year since I was born. It's called the Chuck Norris routine!

I like swimming, training, and puppies.

What? I know I'm probably gonna be the antagonist of this damn story, being a Career and all, but I'm still human.

Today is the Choosing. This is literally what I spent my whole life for. Wow, I really need some hobbies.

The lady at the podium made a speech after selecting the female Contestant, "Wow! That was a genius character! Or at least I'm sure it would've been one, if someone bothered to submit them! Now, for the male Contestant..."

She picked a name, "The Contestant isssss... Finnigan McIrish!"

Everyone gasped at the obvious plot hole that he hasn't been in the Games yet. Being the amazing person I am, I put up my hand, "I have the power- I mean I volunteer as Contestant!"

Everyone gasped again, despite fully being aware that I'm a Career and this is basically my job. Yeah, we gasp a lot.

I would've said my temporary goodbyes, but, being a Career, I'm not allowed to have any character development or sympathy points.

* * *

** Thanks for reading! Ben Dover created by Richards25! Please review and submit Contestants! Shockingly, I realized I don't even have the submission form ON THE STORY, so here it is:**

**The Quite Peckish Games: 65th Submission Sheet:**

**Name:**

**District:**

**Age:**

**History:**

**Appearance:**

**(These next things are on a scale from 1 to 10)**

**Strength:**

**Intelligence:**

**Endurance:**

**Climbing:**

**Social Skills:**

**(Okay, no more 1 to 10 things)**

**Likes:**

**Dislikes:**

**Misc. Things About your Tribute:**


	5. Reeta Did

'Ello! I'm Reeta Did! Yes, I speak in a British accent, and yes, it's pronounced like you think it is. I see you smirking.

I come from Sector 8, the Clothing and Textiles Sector! I'm sittin' here, sewing a dress, fit for a Mary Sue, which I'm sure someone has submitted. It always happens.

"Attention, workers!" A man said over a speaker, "You have the rest of the day off for the Choosing. I'm off to be an extra in another parody, please don't rebel while I'm gone."

I was so happy, I began to SING! After several minutes of singing, only FOUR suicides! I must be getting a lot better...

I skipped off to the Choosing. Surely I will not be Chosen! I mean, the conspiracy theorists (or, as you may call 'em, fan fiction writers) say that the Choosing is fixed. Why would the Capitol want such a ridiculous name in their random fight to the death thingie?

Fifteen minutes later...

"And this year's Contestant is... Reeta Did!" The lady at the podium announced, "Come on up here, Kamuss Evermean!"

A man walked up to the lady at the podium and whispered something into her ear, "Never mind! It's R-E-E-T-A D-I-D! Wow, the names here are screwed the hell up!"

... Never mind about that thing I said earlier.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Reeta Did created by Readerwritereview! Here is the (updated) list of spots taken!**

**District One female.**

**District One Male.**

**District Two Female.**

**District Three Female.**

**District Four Male.**

**District Six Female.**

**District Seven Male.**

**District Seven Female.**

**District Eight Female.**

**District Nine Male.**

**District Eleven Male.**

**District Twelve Male.**


	6. Iowna Broom

Hello. My name is Iowna Broom. I own a broom. Hahaha! Everyone loves puns. Laugh, dammit. My middle name is 'gunn'. I enjoy dancing like a robot. It has something to do with a horridly long backstory, of which the author will pad the length of the story. That is, if he survives more than two or three more.

Today is the Choosing. Do I really need to tell you about it? This is, like, the sixth chapter. I walk to the Choosing, and stand in line with the other girls. A man with a white face and possible homosexual tendencies walked to the podium.

"Hello, citizens of Sector 7!" He said, "Time for another FABULOUS Choosing, brought to you by the Capital!"

Deciding to stop making badly written homosexual remarks for ten seconds, he walked towards the Choosing Ball. I large, gleaming ball, next to another large, gleaming ball. It's weird, I feel like someone just made a homophobic review. Weird.

He pulled out a name, "This year's Sector 7 Contestant isssss... Iowna Broom!"

... Wow, that was a short chapter.

* * *

** Well, what Iowna said. Iowna Broom created by Richards25! Sorry, I couldn't think of much funny things. SORRY! NO, PUT DOWN THAT GUN!**

**... *Cough*, anyway, thanks for reading, and please review!**

**(BTW, yes, Iowna is a murderer. Just saying, because I'm going to milk that personality trait for literally every joke I can.)**


	7. Fig Lemons

Hello, I'm Fig Lemons, of Sector 11. And I kick ass. My idols are, despite this taking place in a dystopian future that would most likely forget twentieth century icons, Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan. I'm self taught in kung-fu, and I kick trees to gather their fruit.

'There are no fruit trees in Sector 11!', You say? Well, too bad. My pet is a hawk named Dragon. You can't criticize. I hate other girls, because they aren't as amazingly amazing as me. Before you ask slash write fan fiction about it, I'm not a lesbian.

"It's time for the Choosing!" My grandmum told me, as I sat, being epic, "You better hurry!"

"... Why?" I asked her.

"Well, what if they call your name-"

"We have the population of several thousand. I don't think that's a problem."

"Keep in mind, you have all that Tessaraie. Plus, you have a name. They always pick the ones with names." Grandmum explained.

"Fine. I'll be back once I'm done narrating."

I left my Grandmum and Grandpa's house, walking through fields of grain, up to the Choosing Arena. I'd tell you more, but I'm pretty sure it's illegal in this series to actually describe places.

I got in at the exact time for the Ledger-ette, or, as you may call her, the Capital Lady, to come to the podium. Convenient.

"Hello, citizens of Sector 11!" She announced, "Normally, we'd show which Victors would be training this year's Contestants, and maybe some drunk-guy comic relief. Though, the author couldn't bother to write it in the first place, and he doesn't feel like breaking his laziness streak!"

Ledger-ette sighed, "Well, let's get to Choosing!" She squealed, then walked to the Almighty Sparkle Ball of Choosing, "This year's female Contestant issss... Fig Lemons!"

I started crying. Those tears healed the children around me's sicknesses. My tears are epic too. I walked up to the stage.

"Now, would anyone like to volunteer?" Ledger-ette asked. A girl put up her hand. I filled with joy!

"I volunteer as Contestant!" The girl said. It was Camee Braver, the girl who had a French name for some reason! I'm saved!

"Thank god, someone volunteered so I don't have to use my super awesome kung-fu fighting!" I squealed.

"Oh, well," Camee said, "If you're gonna act like that, never bloody mind."

... Awkward.

* * *

** Fig Lemons created by Anla'shok! Here are the spots taken:**

**District One female.**

**District One Male.**

**District Two Female.**

**District Three Female.**

**District Four Male.**

**District Six Female.**

**District Seven Male.**

**District Seven Female.**

**District Eight Female.**

**District Nine Male.**

**District Eleven Male.**

**District Twelve Female.**

**District Twelve Male.**

** Thanks for reading, and please submit!**


	8. Mason Mason

Hey, y'all. I'm a cowboy- I mean Career. I also just so happen to have a southern accent.

My name is simple. It's Mason Mason. In hindsight, the name's rather idiotic. Like me!

Don't bother askin' why I'm a cowboy thousands o' years after they lived? I'm pretty sure it's Painem's form of hipster. I've never been to school. I was too busy trainin'. See, for us one dimensional Sector 2 citizens, that seems to be all we do.

My hobbies include long walks on the beach, punching things, being implied to have had or is having sex, and having a beard. Yeah, that's a hobbie. If your beard is awesome enough.

Today is the Choosing. I think I may be the most sympathetic person here.

A woman, who, due to my refusal of referencing the whole 'Ledger' thing, I cannot compare to anyone else.

"Wow. I am kind of scared to be here," She spat out, "No offense, but you all look like token antagonists."

"Hey, that's offensive!" I yelled at her. It IS true, but still offensive.

"Too bad!" She yelled back, "Let's choose the male canon fodder- I mean Contestant."

She pulled a piece of paper out of a novelty over-sized ball. "This year's male Contestant is... Weakly McTwelve!"

OH NOES! Weakly McTwelve is the weakest, twelve year old-est, most flat and boring character in this Sector! At least a dozen guys, including me, volunteered for Contestant. I don't know why, but for some reason none of us get sympathy points for doing this.

After punching out a few other guys, (I think I may see why we're not sympathetic...) I finally get to be this year's Contestant! Yeah, I get to be sent to my death!

... Damn, I'm this story's Kamuss Evermean, aren't I?

* * *

** Originally, Mason was supposed to say at the end that it was a short chapter. But hey, how could I miss the opportunity to reference someone who isn't relevant yet?**

** Here's the list of Contestants I need:**

**Sector 3 Male.**

**Sector 4 Female.**

**Sector 5 Male.**

**Sector 5 Female.**

**Sector 6 Male.**

**Sector 8 Male.**

**Sector 10 Female.**

**Sector 11 Female.**

**Thanks for reading, and please review/submit!**


	9. Tony Sarcas

I am the oldest one in my family the can get chosen... So guess what my parents made me do? Get Tesseraie for my entire family. Twice. I feel loved.

My name is Tony Sarcas. As in Tony Sarcasm. Clever name. Probably took a whole ten minutes to name me. I live in Sector 12, or as the other Sectors call us, the one with those dead kids.

Now, to pad out this damn chapter's length, here's a FLASHBACK...

I was sitting in a round table. There was a plot driving awkward silence.

"You know, Tesseraie is part of our living..." My Mother said, awkwardly. Honestly, this dialogue is pretty poorly written. Even on this author's standards.

"You don't say." I replied. We were eating Tesseraie food RIGHT NOW.

"And our family is kinda big..." My Father continued, "Plus, one less mouth to feed if you were Chosen..." Wow, I didn't really remember that last part. Ow.

"You guys are so Ledger-ing clever..."

I stood up, with tears streaming down my face. Before you ask, teenage boy readers, I'm not gay.

"Are you crying?" My Mother asked.

"NO, I'm just sweating through my eyes!" I yelled, as I stormed out.

"... At least he still has his only defense mechanisim: sarcasm." My Father laughed. I don't understand how I heard that from outside, either.

Of course we all know that I took the Tesseraie, because I said it in the damn opening narration. Nice writing, Author.

I'd show you my Choosing, but you saw like, nine Choosings at this point. I got chosen, there. You're welcome. 


End file.
